Foodlympics: Limeball

There is a hole in the bay window of our kitchen. Or rather, there was a hole, until earlier today. Don't believe me?



There, some proof. I bet you feel silly now.

Anyways, right about now you must be wondering how in the hell did that hole get there? We all know holes don't just magically appear in bay windows. Maybe they used to, I don't know, but they sure don't anymore. Well, dear friend, the source of that hole was a lime. Oh yes, a lime. A little green and surprisingly durable lime. And how did he cause the hole, you ask? Was he out for some sort of revenge? The answer is yes. This lime wanted revenge, and decided the best way to get it was to propel itself through our kitchen window.

It all started last Friday night in our humble Helena Drive abode. Kim, Lloyd, and I were bored out of our minds late at night, and with a rallying cry of, "The night is still young!", made our way into the kitchen to make our own fun. After racking our brains, we came up with a brilliant idea: Foodlympics.

The first contest in Foodlympics was "Mouth Bread". While Kim counted to ten, we had to shove a whole piece of white bread in our mouth and try to eat as much as possible, spitting out the contents at the end of the alloted time. It was both gross and impossible. The next contest was "Cinnamon Spoon", which as you can guess, involved us shoving a spoon of cinnamon down the hatchet. Both the cinnamon and the feeling of coming in 2nd place were bitter. The third contest was "Super Syrup". Super Syrup was a creation of mine and Lloyd's. It's a mixture of chocolate syrup and maple syrup, stirred together and drank in a shotglass. It was by far the most sugary event in Foodlympics.

Finally, the moment arrived. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it was time for America's new pastime... Limeball. Limeball, for the few of you who have never played, involves pitching a lime and hitting it with various objects. The first inning of Limeball was played with a mop. The second inning, I kid you not, was played with a hammer. A HAMMER. The lime itself was repeatedly tossed and hit, and as we all know, limes are nasty sour little guys. And this lime was the nastiest, sourest of all.

The third inning was played with a frying pan. After the first few pitches, I came up to bat. The lime had had enough. Kim tossed me the lime, I whacked it (not even that hard), and the lime, fed up with being used and abused, made a beeline for the window. Next thing we know, the aforementioned hole is there and we don't know what to do.

This is what we did:







Yep, we toiled all day, unscrewing and smashing and bashing. As of this second, there is just an open space, covered with a towel, of where the glass used to be. Tomorrow, I believe, we are gluing in the panel that we bought. All in all, totally worth it, especially since we got our own revenge on that bitter lime by throwing it out. Have fun in the garbage dump, you dumb lime!